Roller Coasters make me nauseous

Do you ever just want to cry? I do. But I want to cry a lot more often than I actually do. I guess life just seems to throw me into many situations that seem to deserve tears. I can't go into detail about too many of these, so let me vaguely suggest that sometimes relationships, friends, friends' relationships, life, choices, and life choices--all make me want to cry. The key word here, friends, is want. I just really don't cry that much.

I used to cry on a pretty regular basis. I might as well have scheduled crying into my weekly plan my sophomore year of college--right between History 220 and work. I had a few hardcore crying sessions while living in Orlando. But these days, bouts of crying are few and far between. The feeling that "This deserve a good cry" or "I really should just cry and get it over with" doesn't go away, but I find that I just...can't.

So why not? In The Holiday, Cameron Diaz's character has all sorts of emotional baggage from her childhood. In Disney's The Kid, Bruce Willis can't cry because of, you guessed it, emotional baggage from his childhood. Chuck Norris doesn't cry which is why we still have cancer. But none of that really applies to me. My tears don't cure cancer and I honestly don't have a lot of childhood baggage I've carried in to adulthood.

I was laying in bed last night trying to figure it out, and I came to the following conclusions.

1) I should stop thinking and go to sleep.

2) Crying over certain situations seems really foolish. No one's dead. Nothing's happened. Maybe nothing will ever happen!

3) Crying makes me feel like I'm out of control. Few things freak me out as much as being out of control. I hate being able to picture my emotional state as the old rickety white roller coaster at Lagoon. Even besides the up and down, there's the added "thrill" that this thing is so old you might go flying off the side? Yeah.

4) Most often when my heart hurts, I can't make it translate into tears. Even if I wanted to.

5) There's too much humor to life to waste time crying. Things that make me cry usually make me want to laugh too. And laughing is easier and more fun.

Example? This whole Jamie thing I posted about last week. Last time we got together everything was going swimmingly until the "other woman" showed up. She walked in and it was as if I hardly existed anymore. Usually this would make me mad/sad/want to cry. (And that's normal right?) But at this point I can't help but want to laugh. I wonder if he realizes how hilariously asinine he's being.

FACT: Telling Jamie he's being a complete jackass would make me laugh.

FACT: I've only said "jackass" once in my life so I probably wouldn't do it.

FACT: The mere idea of saying "jackass" to Jamie is enough to keep me laughing all day long.

And if I'm laughing all day long, I most definitely won't be thinking of crying.