An Open Letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

I hope you don't think I'm too old to be writing you this year. I don't consider myself too old and so I'm putting finger to keyboard and sending this letter along.

With that disclaimer out of the way, I want you to know I have tried to be very good this year. And though there have been a few missteps along the way, I think I've been doing a pretty good job. I'm getting along well with all my siblings and I don't think I've been flat out mean to my students even once. This is good, right?

Therefore--if its not too much trouble--I'd like to ask you for a few things this holiday season. And I know its within your power to make pretty much anything happen because I've seen Miracle on 34th Street at least 10 times and you got that little girl A HOUSE! And I'm not asking for anything that extravagant. I'll just hope and have faith that my few requests might be well received.

First, I would like snow for Christmas. But not so much snow that it keeps my little sister from coming home for Christmas. We really, really want her here. And she wants to be here too. Could you make sure she can come? The snow last year was, in a word, RIDICULOUS. We don't need that much. Ever. A nice dusting of snow, however, would be a magical touch to the holiday.

Second, I would appreciate a more active dating life. I'm not asking for a boyfriend for Christmas--or even a date. I'd just like you to use some of that Christmas magic and perhaps inspire more men to get on the ball...and maybe more of my friends to line me up with available, ambitious young men.

Finally, if its not too much trouble, I'm kind of in love with Fox's Glee. If you could stuff my stocking with the music and Vol. 1 of the first season, I'd be a very happy girl on Christmas morning.

Wishing a very merry Christmas to you and yours!

Tara

P.S. I'll make sure to leave extra-special, super tasty cookies and milk out for you. Fly safe!

It's kind of funny

Is it weird how funny I find this? Because really--I find it hilarious. And I laugh my head off every time I watch it. And I do mean every time.

Tonight's Favorite

Its cold in Utah. As in "frigid," "freezing," or "lick the lamppost and DIE" type cold. The kind of cold where somebody opens the door and two floors up your want to yell at them to close it. And its only December. Usually this debilitating cold waits until January or February to rear its ugly head. *le sigh*

But on these type of freezing cold nights my happy solace is in a steaming cup of hot chocolate, topped with 3 big marshmallows. It makes me cheerful and warms me to the core.

Happy Winter.

*I'd have posted a picture, but I drank it too fast.

When Life Gets You Down...

...I guess its time to count your blessings!!

Weekend Adventures

I've had many requests to explain my most recent Facebook status. For those of you not in my social networking circle, it said something like this: "Car leaking gas? Check. Fire department? Check. Sirens going? Check. Hot firemen? CHECK!"

Mysterious, no?

I would attempt to capture the incredible nature of my Saturday night, but why make such a herculean effort when Greg has already done it for me? Run, don't walk, to Greg's blog to read the exciting tale of one crazy night in Salt Lake City.

On a related note--Hot Tip! for anyone on a "No Treats" diet. You can easily sidestep this rule and get a luscious tasty treat any night, because those donut holes you're inhaling at Denny's are technically parading about as "Pancake Puppies," so...yeah. Brilliant.

My Adjective ABC's

Absurd: The ab move the gym instructor wanted me to do on the Bosu Tuesday morning. You want me to balance on my hip while holding a giant exercise ball between my ankles and then do WHAT? Yeah. Right.

Boring: Sitting through 6 class periods of test-taking. Yes, at least I don't have to be in front of the class teaching, but I also can't put in my earbuds and watch Glee online. *sigh*

Comfortable: Getting in bed early to read a good book before bedtime.

Difficult: Planning out, preparing, and eating healthy meals. I'm really trying but sometimes its just so hard!

Elated: The fact that Thanksgiving break is mere weeks away. Thanksgiving means good food, family, Macy's parade, a "turkey trot" in some form, and time to really RELAX.

Festive: Listening to Christmas tunes in the car & on Pandora while brainstorming brilliant gift ideas and other ways to cultivate the holiday spirit.

Gruesome: The graveyard of cricket corpses lining the walls of my hallway. I smash them with my mighty shoe and honestly have plans to vacuum them up. Right now they act as a grim warning to any other insects who care to wander into my path.

Handy: My new living quarters being located in such a way that I can go to the gym and return home to shower and eat breakfast before going to work. I haven't had that set up in almost 3 years! Cold cereal has never tasted so good...

Irritating: The placement of the alarm button on my key fob. I have inadvertently hit the button--at the most inopportune times (i.e. 5:00 am, after work in front of the school)--on countless occasions.

Joyous: Having a beautiful temple only minutes from my house and being able to attend regularly.

Kaput: My favorite white blouse after an unfortunate incident with an obviously too-hot iron.

Lavish: The Chastity party, for sure. As well as most other parties I choose to throw. We all remember the grand Harry Potter Birthday Party of 2007, right?

Motivating: Watching this season of The Biggest Loser and getting great tips for my own gym visits. If they can lose 10 lbs in a week--so can I! Okay, so probably not. But maybe 1 lbs. a week?

Nice: Does not fly as a middle school teacher. You're much safer to strive for "fair" in order to gain a teenager's respect. I go one step further with "cold and aloof," but then I've always been an overachiever.

Outstanding: This first season of Glee. Each episode consistently succeeds in making me laugh and/or warming my heart. The music ain't half bad, either.

Peculiar: Taking over my 6 history classes again after my student teacher has been teaching for the past two months.

Questionable: Allowing myself to eat graham crackers while on a "no treat" diet. I decided I needed to have a few, small concessions. But isn't this form of cracker really more like a cookie?

Ridiculous: The fact that middle school students have iPhones.

Sparse: The amount of space left in my bedroom to store clothes and other life necessities. I think I need to purchase a BIG dresser.

Torpid: My energy level between approximately 12:30 pm and 4:30 pm. All friends/acquaintances/family/random strangers should be made aware of this general situation. Lack of education on this subject could be an ugly thing.

Upcoming: My trip to Disneyland with the parentals and little sis. We're celebrating little sis's birthday and I think she totally deserves this trip.

Vast: The list of treats I would like to eat. The list includes (but is not limited to) red velvet cheesecake, a big bowl from Frogurt, brownies right out of the pan, peanut butter bars, and a luscious Smart Cookie.

Wearisome: The continuous search for good fruit snacks. My last box by Member Mark (Sam's Club) was fabulous. The current box by Member Mark? Not the good kind. Why? WHY?!!

Xenophilic: I know I'm not alone in finding a fun accent--Scottish, Irish, Autralian--quite an attractive feature. For more information see this.

Yummy: Bread. I'll elaborate and point specifically at crusty artisan breads. I could probably eat an entire loaf without batting an eye. According to a survey done in our very own faculty room...bread makes you happy.

Zooming: My approach to the drive home from the gym. At least it would be if that annoying Subaru had not switched into my lane just before the turn and then insisted on driving at EXACTLY the speed limit all the way to my neighborhood. Grr...

Chastity is my Favorite!

As the last party guest headed out the door, one glance around made it obvious this party was a rousing success.

Fairy doll in an aluminum foil chastity belt on the couch.
Sheri Dew talk on cassette entitled, "Living on the Lord's Side of the Line" on the bookcase.
Giant lavender granny panties arranged artfully on the floor.

No doubt about it--the 1st Annual Celebration of Chastity: White Knuckles and Chocolate, was totally Rockin'.

The Deal: Celebrate our ability to rein it in for so many years with a spread of luscious desserts and the company of good friends. Check out this post for a little more information.

The Event: A total success.

We had SOOOOOO many amazing desserts including a 14-layer cake (which more than one person referred to as the Pollyanna Cake), dump cake, coconut surprise (the surprise is there's no coconut!), delicious chocolate cookies, chocolate mousse, brownies, a chocolate fountain and much, much more. On the other counter, some more savory dishes like egg rolls, bread sticks, hummus, and veggies.

The Chastity Belt Design contest was a riot. Nate's "Poison Oak" number took the top prize--quite deservedly I think--with other entries ranging from jewel-encrusted to a mighty "VL Man" that looked something like Iron Man.The highlight of the night had to be the white elephant gift exchange. Each guest was encouraged to bring a "token of chastity" and the various gifts that showed up were hilarious. We had no less than 3 "Chastity" Dolls, a "Hope" frame with Jake Gyllenhaal inside, a homemade sword of virtue, a Chlamydia giant microbe (oh, the irony of getting chlamydia at a Chastity party!), pants, and a VHS copy of Saturday's Warrior--just to name a few.

Final Thoughts: I think everybody involved had a blast. And most people, it seems, are already looking forward to next year's Chastity bash. Such a satisfying thing knowing I had even a small part behind such a successful shindig. Party of the year, perhaps? Perhaps.

For more pics and a different author's perspective of the night, check out Greg's rundown here.