The Blame Game

This afternoon I saw a man who had covered his entire face in a giant puzzle tattoo. Last night a woman at the baseball game lifted her skirt and flashed the entire crowd before loudly cussing out somebody 10-15 rows behind us. I take these all as signs of impending doom--man's time as ruler of this earth must be on the way out. So what (or who) is to blame for this downward spiral?! I don't doubt we'll all wake up one morning in the near future to view Mankind's Downfall (in one form or another...), and like all red-blooded Americans we'll want to know who, or what, is to blame.

Lucky for you, I already have a few ideas.

Tapered Jeans. I don't know who thought this was a good idea, but its obvious they were wrong. Tapered jeans just look wrong, and consequently ruin many a good person. Though, it could be argued that if you're wearing tapered jeans you must not be a good person...And thus the downfall of mankind.

Text messaging. I love text messaging myself, but it does often hinder our ability to communicate in a more natural way--like talking face to face or even on the phone. I think texting often inhibits our ability to make decisions, as well. Why decide on your own what to order at Taco Bell when there's a whole phone book full of people to survey for their opinions? When this world falls apart entirely, text messaging may be to blame. But not totally because there's also...

Fergie. If I have to hear "Big Girls Don't Cry" one more time I'm going to bring this world down MYSELF. So there.

The Fox Network. Another option for blame would have to be this network that I usually refer to as "The fake news." Everything about the Fox network is shady and kind of slimebally (if that's even a word). Remember when their entire fall lineup seemed to consist of shows like When Animals Attack! and When Animals Attack 2!? Yeah, me too. Now they're the kings of reality TV, and honestly if you need me to explain why reality TV will be the downfall of mankind do me a favor and take your imbecilic self to another Blog. Immediately.

Hummers. World events being what they are, the downfall of mankind could very easily be brought upon us by The Terrorists. The Terrorists are sponsored by oil companies, car companies, and the Letter X. People who drive Hummers on city streets are simply aiding The Terrorists. Think about it...

Anyway, as I said, these are just ideas. But keep an eye out. These things might just be annoyances on a day to day basis, but when the crap hits the fan you'll want to remember them. And then point the finger...of doom.