I think I'm starting to date somebody. You'd think I, of all people, would know, right? But I'm not sure. Things are going slow--which I appreciate. And most of that slowness is probably due to me. All of this scares me. Not the "I'm so scared I'm physically panicking and I can't think straight" kind of scared. That's usually reserved for the last moments in the Haunted House when the man with the chainsaw is chasing you down the hallway. Rather, I'm scared that this could be something really good. I'm scared because my life is taking a brand new turn and change. I'm not one of those people who loves change. I pretty much hate it. I like feeling comfortable, and change isn't comfortable. I feel like every other day, at least, I'm forced to adjust to something new--a new feeling, a new idea, new...something. And its scary!
He taught me to drive a stick shift on Labor Day. I spent most of the time screaming and/or laughing because...it was new, and scary. I guess that's what life is all about. Facing new situations and laughing and/or screaming your way through until it feels comfortable. So that's what I'm going to do. Keep on keepin' on through this crazy relationship thing--screaming, laughing, crying...whatever it takes. And hopefully, eventually, it won't feel so scary. But just...good.
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2 comments:
Hooray for a new blog! Hooray for you! And now for a thought. I read your last two posts one right after the other, I advise you to do the same and connect your current feelings of fear with Roommate's statement (PS I love that her nickname is roommate.) "I'm comfortable being homophobic." An interesting parallel if nothing else.
Also, I'm still sad you didn't choose the Ungermeyer, but after reading your blog I must say that I do like Felicity.
I can honestly say to you, as a person who's had a lot of new relationships, that sometimes the "scary factor" wears off and sometimes it doesn't. Just make sure you stay in tune with what the spirit is trying to tell you. If it's not right you'll know it.
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