The Battle of Bunker Hill? Really?

Its Civil War Test time again!! And this year I got a lot of correct answers. Really! For the most part--the most part--the students were factually correct. YAY! This year's weird answers mainly came in the form of the illogical, not-to-be-understood ramblings of the 8th grade mind.

Remember that old SNL Celebrity Jeopardy episode that goes something like: "Mr. Connery, you answered? Half of your hand. And your bid is...the other half of your hand. We've reached a new low."? Well, take a look at my favorite test this year.

Side one of the test: A tracing of his hand.

Side two: A RAINBOW tracing of his hand!

We have reached a new low.

Here's a sampling of a few other favorites:

“[Lincoln] got assassinated by John Wilkes Booth. This left John Adams as our president.”
(Shazaam! TIME TRAVEL!)

“President Abraham Lincoln’s inauguration was sort of like a treat to the South”
(A treat that makes you decide its time to secede...)

“Announcements by Lincoln made Confederates mad or even happy about war.”
(Just like giving her a zero made me mad...or even happy?)

“The South wasn’t very social cause they couldn’t talk to some cause they lived so far apart.”
(And they didn't have text messaging either!!)

Concerning Reconstruction: “Even though there was a lot of sadness, there was also happiness”
(Glad we cleared that up!)

“Another [disadvantage of the north] is they were the one’s who didn’t always know where the other side was.”
(That does make fighting each other rather difficult)

“The generals and the leaders were all good fighters but they really didn’t want to fight but that was because they were shy or something but they were very good fighters that’s what president Abraham Lincoln said.”
(Huh?)

“Lincoln…got assassinated in the early 1900’s”
(Time Travel AGAIN!)

"The battle that started the war was Battle of Bunker Hill."
(Um...no. That battle didn't start ANY war, actually.)

“Slaves were freed and later became Generals who became more.”
(What?)

“There were also teaching restrictions for them [Black Americans]; if there was one black in a room full of whites, that teacher would be shot.”
(Well, it could be...um...yeah. No idea. Yet again.)

“At the end of the war, General Lee and President Johnson sat down at the Church hall and had a meeting.”
(I'm going to chalk this one up to Civil War fan fiction)

“The final straw was Lincoln’s election because of his veins.”
(I have no response for this. None.)

“The Union were a bunch of pretty boys that didn’t use guns a lot.”
(HA HA HA!!! Sorry. But that's just funny.)

“One major huge event that changed the war was Abraham Lincoln!.…He was the Mickle Jordan of the war, and it made the south scared.”
(He’s an event now? I want to be an event. I want to be a Mickle Jordan of an event!)

Mystery Solved

Tonight I got a mysterious text message from a number I didn't know. The sender indicated he had found my name and number on a piece of paper in the back of his car, but didn't know who I was. Odd, to say the least. I was feeling game, though, and we text messaged back and forth for a while about not much.

He asked when I graduated. I countered with "High school or college?" He requested both and when I provided the years he responded with a "Ha" and information about his own high school graduation 3 1/2 years ago and his current college status. Considering I graduated from college 4 years ago...things weren't looking up.

And then, out of no where, I got an inkling of an idea. He goes to SLCC. His name, Jace, sounded familiar. BAM! Institute. He had my number from last semester's class--he was the class pres. and was supposed to call to remind me about some assignment*. In the midst of our fun bantering I texted him that I had figured out how we knew each other. He concurred that must be it. Mystery solved.

Interesting to note that the fun and games were over once we figured out who the other person was. It was awkward. And the text messaging ended quite abruptly.

Just goes to show--men love a woman of mystery.

*Note: He never called. But I remembered. I'm just that good.