Remember that old SNL Celebrity Jeopardy episode that goes something like: "Mr. Connery, you answered? Half of your hand. And your bid is...the other half of your hand. We've reached a new low."? Well, take a look at my favorite test this year.
Side one of the test: A tracing of his hand.
Side two: A RAINBOW tracing of his hand!
We have reached a new low.Here's a sampling of a few other favorites:
“[Lincoln] got assassinated by John Wilkes Booth. This left John Adams as our president.”
(Shazaam! TIME TRAVEL!)
“President Abraham Lincoln’s inauguration was sort of like a treat to the South”
(A treat that makes you decide its time to secede...)
“Announcements by Lincoln made Confederates mad or even happy about war.”
(Just like giving her a zero made me mad...or even happy?)
“The South wasn’t very social cause they couldn’t talk to some cause they lived so far apart.”
(And they didn't have text messaging either!!)
Concerning Reconstruction: “Even though there was a lot of sadness, there was also happiness”
(Glad we cleared that up!)
“Another [disadvantage of the north] is they were the one’s who didn’t always know where the other side was.”
(That does make fighting each other rather difficult)
“The generals and the leaders were all good fighters but they really didn’t want to fight but that was because they were shy or something but they were very good fighters that’s what president Abraham Lincoln said.”
(Huh?)
“Lincoln…got assassinated in the early 1900’s”
(Time Travel AGAIN!)
"The battle that started the war was Battle of Bunker Hill."
(Um...no. That battle didn't start ANY war, actually.)
“Slaves were freed and later became Generals who became more.”
(What?)
“There were also teaching restrictions for them [Black Americans]; if there was one black in a room full of whites, that teacher would be shot.”
(Well, it could be...um...yeah. No idea. Yet again.)
“At the end of the war, General Lee and President Johnson sat down at the Church hall and had a meeting.”
(I'm going to chalk this one up to Civil War fan fiction)
“The final straw was Lincoln’s election because of his veins.”
(I have no response for this. None.)
“The Union were a bunch of pretty boys that didn’t use guns a lot.”
(HA HA HA!!! Sorry. But that's just funny.)
“One major huge event that changed the war was Abraham Lincoln!.…He was the Mickle Jordan of the war, and it made the south scared.”
(He’s an event now? I want to be an event. I want to be a Mickle Jordan of an event!)
(Shazaam! TIME TRAVEL!)
“President Abraham Lincoln’s inauguration was sort of like a treat to the South”
(A treat that makes you decide its time to secede...)
“Announcements by Lincoln made Confederates mad or even happy about war.”
(Just like giving her a zero made me mad...or even happy?)
“The South wasn’t very social cause they couldn’t talk to some cause they lived so far apart.”
(And they didn't have text messaging either!!)
Concerning Reconstruction: “Even though there was a lot of sadness, there was also happiness”
(Glad we cleared that up!)
“Another [disadvantage of the north] is they were the one’s who didn’t always know where the other side was.”
(That does make fighting each other rather difficult)
“The generals and the leaders were all good fighters but they really didn’t want to fight but that was because they were shy or something but they were very good fighters that’s what president Abraham Lincoln said.”
(Huh?)
“Lincoln…got assassinated in the early 1900’s”
(Time Travel AGAIN!)
"The battle that started the war was Battle of Bunker Hill."
(Um...no. That battle didn't start ANY war, actually.)
“Slaves were freed and later became Generals who became more.”
(What?)
“There were also teaching restrictions for them [Black Americans]; if there was one black in a room full of whites, that teacher would be shot.”
(Well, it could be...um...yeah. No idea. Yet again.)
“At the end of the war, General Lee and President Johnson sat down at the Church hall and had a meeting.”
(I'm going to chalk this one up to Civil War fan fiction)
“The final straw was Lincoln’s election because of his veins.”
(I have no response for this. None.)
“The Union were a bunch of pretty boys that didn’t use guns a lot.”
(HA HA HA!!! Sorry. But that's just funny.)
“One major huge event that changed the war was Abraham Lincoln!.…He was the Mickle Jordan of the war, and it made the south scared.”
(He’s an event now? I want to be an event. I want to be a Mickle Jordan of an event!)
7 comments:
Can't stop laughing! Love it.
i.love.this.
I've also often taught about that freed slave who became a General--and then more. I think it happened right before the event of Lincoln.
I MISS THE CLASSROOM!!!!!!!!! There is nothing like an 8th grader who knows history . . .or thinks he does.
My fave from a student in my world civ test: "The French pheasants were revolting in the streets. They were revolting all over."
I want to be a teacher just for this very reason.
Too funny.
amazing.
also, way to be on the sugar fast--you look great.
HEEEEELARIOUS. Truly amazing. I can't WAIT for some of these kids to start writing for TV and Hollywood!
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