Or...at least I thought so. Tonight I was correcting 7th period's tests and discovered a number of errors in their thinking that make me want to cry. Or at least hit them over the head with our textbook a few times, and demand they apologize for these ghastly offenses against America's history:
"The North was for slaves and the South was against them."
"The battle of Gettysburg was interesting. Only a horse died--no men. The horse's head fell off or something."
(I assume then that the label ''bloodiest battle in American history'' must have been coined by PETA)
"During the war, Washington decided to set a couple slaves free because they were not told that they were freed because their leaders wouldn't let the slaves become soldiers too."
(Don't ask me how Washington showed up in this war. I'm just the teacher.)
"General Lee was for the Union."
(Ai-yi-yi...)
"My own opinion, the north were the good people."
(I docked her points for her opinion. Because it is wrong.)
"The North had more factories and businesses which made them more reliant on slaves. Slaves were a big issue. The North wanted slaves but the South disagreed. The South was more farm land, they did use some slave labor but not as much as the North."
(And commence wondering if she attended class this quarter at all...)
"The Confederacy didn't really win any of the battles but they won a couple."
(Not only factually incorrect, but also illogical!)
"Lincoln said he would rather be assassinated than see Blacks treated like slaves."
(I'd ask her to cite her source, but I doubt 'cite' or 'source' are in her vocabulary)
"Abraham Lincoln wrote a confusing document but its very well known now."*
(Touche')
"The battle of Gettysburg was interesting. Only a horse died--no men. The horse's head fell off or something."
(I assume then that the label ''bloodiest battle in American history'' must have been coined by PETA)
"During the war, Washington decided to set a couple slaves free because they were not told that they were freed because their leaders wouldn't let the slaves become soldiers too."
(Don't ask me how Washington showed up in this war. I'm just the teacher.)
"General Lee was for the Union."
(Ai-yi-yi...)
"My own opinion, the north were the good people."
(I docked her points for her opinion. Because it is wrong.)
"The North had more factories and businesses which made them more reliant on slaves. Slaves were a big issue. The North wanted slaves but the South disagreed. The South was more farm land, they did use some slave labor but not as much as the North."
(And commence wondering if she attended class this quarter at all...)
"The Confederacy didn't really win any of the battles but they won a couple."
(Not only factually incorrect, but also illogical!)
"Lincoln said he would rather be assassinated than see Blacks treated like slaves."
(I'd ask her to cite her source, but I doubt 'cite' or 'source' are in her vocabulary)
"Abraham Lincoln wrote a confusing document but its very well known now."*
(Touche')
No "Teacher of the Year" award for me this year, but at least I stopped short of writing mocking comments off to the side of their answers. Baby steps.
*It should be noted that all of these answers came from only 5 students--none of whom you'd consider the brightest crayon in the box.
6 comments:
LoL! Oh Gosh...Isn't that so frustrating!?? Totally been there. Maybe you should try the hitting-over-the-head with the text book. It'll either knock some sense into them, or possibly result in a major injury; thus putting them out of commission for the rest of the school year so you don't have to deal with them. See? Win-win.
This is hilarious. Especially the part about PETA.
Incorrect, sure - but very very funny! Perhaps these poor souls could be steered away from scholarly pursuits and into stand-up comedy? Or maybe that's still too intellectual... Oh well, at least YOU'RE set for open mike night!
Only a horse died huh? I'm so glad your blog can educate me :)
also you are funny. i request you blog more. :)
I think they saw those emails of kids writing stupid answers and secretly hoped that theirs would somehow surface, and they can lay their claim to fame.
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