To Whom it May Concern

Dear "Just One Date" Date:

Thanks so much for a great evening. It was nice to meet you. I'll most likely never see you again because, let's face it, we're not going out again. Are you surprised? I don't know if you really are. But if so, let me fill you in on some basic reasons why we most likely will not be headed out the door for another date anytime soon--or ever. Please note that I don't say this in an attitude of bitterness, but rather this is a message that could help you in future dating endeavors. With that disclaimer, just a few thoughts:

• You might have missed this, but I'm your date--not your kid sister. Just because I'm a few years younger than you, doesn't give you leave to call me "kid." I've already got brothers and I'm not really in the market for another one at this point.

• I was under the impression you wanted to go out with me--hence you asking me to spend Friday night with you. As such, I guess I just assumed you'd have some idea of what we'd be doing. For future reference, ladies appreciate planning.

• If I'm going to give up a precious weekend night to spend with you--possibly a complete stranger--I'd have appreciated it if you'd spent it with me and not your phone. Hot Tip! I turned mine off before you picked me up.
  

• Spending the evening regaling me with tales of your bad boy days--without a clear indication that they're over--isn't really impressive. Next time (not with me, of course) I'd suggest steering the conversation in a direction that casts a positive spin on you and your life. Talk about your classes, family, or your achievements before whipping out your police record.

• Don't forget that this is a first date. It's okay if we keep it short. They say the best entertainment leaves you wanting more. If I get enough the first time around--SIX HOURS of it, for example--no girl's gonna need another dose anytime soon.

• No, I'm really not okay with driving.

• I'm sorry I've been sitting in your truck for the last 30 minutes, requiring you to come up with yet another zany story about your insane family. This entire awkward scene could have been avoided if you'd turned the car off and walked me to the door. And yes, you should have walked me to the door.

Anyway, good luck! I'm sure that with a little more effort, and maybe just a little thought, the next time around will be awesome. You can do it! If at first you don't succeed (and really, no, you didn't succeed here), Try Try Again!

Sincerely-
Me

P.S. And can I just give a big shout out to the few fabulous first dates I have been on in the past? Some of you guys REALLY have it down; some of you guys I went out with twice or more! (Some of you guys I wanted to go out with again, but...yeah...) Anyway, perhaps you could offer some hints, or even one-on-one tutoring, to some of your peers. Because some of them REALLY need it. Peace out. Happy dating.

**In case it wasn't clear, the thoughts herein have been compiled over several years of swimming in the dating pool. If this had all occurred in one night, with one guy, I'd have felt responsible to disclose his name as a public service to other women who might wander into his path.

Pepper Spray?

Recently, I started working as the US History teacher at a local night school for GED candidates. The demographic is entirely different from my usual "kids" at the middle school down the road. This fact was really brought home to me on the first night when I surveyed the students to see what sort of form they'd like to see class take during fourth quarter. One of my new students responded,

"Honestly I just don't care for any class really. I have other interests for my life, this is just to save me from going to jail. Don't tell my Judge I said that."

This is going to be fun.

Right click or Left click?

About a year ago I became a district trainer on the "Teaching With Primary Sources" course. Its really a great class wherein we teach how to utilize the Library of Congress website, find useful primary sources, and then apply them in the classroom.

Its also a headache to teach.

As a general rule, teachers make the worst students. I don't have the sociology or psychology background necessary to explain this, but experience has taught me its true. Teachers do not listen. Teachers talk while the presenter is talking. And teachers definitely do not follow directions. But all of that doesn't bother me because when I'm in the "student" seat I act pretty much the same way. No, what bothers me is teachers who walk into this class without the smallest understanding of how to use a computer.

"What?! Our teachers can't use all this technology our tax dollars keep putting into the classroom?!" Shocking, I know, but in some cases it appears to be true. Not every teacher--in fact, not many teachers. But in every class I've facilitated there are one or two teachers who spend the majority of the two-day course asking asinine questions.

For example:
"I keep doing what you showed me to do and its not working."
"Did you go to 'View Source'?"
"No."

"How do I cut and paste?"

"Do I right click or left click?"
(This particular teacher asked this particular question Every Single Time he had to cut & paste. And we spend a lot of time cutting and pasting.)

"Where is Word?"
(The answer to that one was, "You're already in it.")

I'd like to take this opportunity, therefore, to make an official suggestion to our lovely government. Before creating one more hoop for new teachers to jump through, perhaps you should go back to the "old school" peeps and make sure they know how to do the basics. Because at this point, I have no doubt its our students leaving these teachers behind.