Thanks so much for a great evening. It was nice to meet you. I'll most likely never see you again because, let's face it, we're not going out again. Are you surprised? I don't know if you really are. But if so, let me fill you in on some basic reasons why we most likely will not be headed out the door for another date anytime soon--or ever. Please note that I don't say this in an attitude of bitterness, but rather this is a message that could help you in future dating endeavors. With that disclaimer, just a few thoughts:
- You might have missed this, but I'm your date--not your kid sister. Just because I'm a few years younger than you, doesn't give you leave to call me "kid." I've already got brothers and I'm not really in the market for another one at this point.
- I was under the impression you wanted to go out with me--hence you asking me to spend Friday night with you. As such, I guess I just assumed you'd have some idea of what we'd be doing. For future reference, ladies appreciate planning.
- If I'm going to give up a precious weekend night to spend with you--possibly a complete stranger--I'd have appreciated it if you'd spent it with me and not your phone. Hot Tip! I turned mine off before you picked me up.
- Spending the evening regaling me with tales of your bad boy days--without a clear indication that they're over--isn't really impressive. Next time (not with me, of course) I'd suggest steering the conversation in a direction that casts a positive spin on you and your life. Talk about your classes, family, or your achievements before whipping out your police record.
- Don't forget that this is a first date. It's okay if we keep it short. They say the best entertainment leaves you wanting more. If I get enough the first time around--SIX HOURS of it, for example--no girl's gonna need another dose anytime soon.
- No, I'm really not okay with driving.
- I'm sorry I've been sitting in your truck for the last 30 minutes, requiring you to come up with yet another zany story about your insane family. This entire awkward scene could have been avoided if you'd turned the car off and walked me to the door. And yes, you should have walked me to the door.
Sincerely-
Me
P.S. And can I just give a big shout out to the few fabulous first dates I have been on in the past? Some of you guys REALLY have it down; some of you guys I went out with twice or more! (Some of you guys I wanted to go out with again, but...yeah...) Anyway, perhaps you could offer some hints, or even one-on-one tutoring, to some of your peers. Because some of them REALLY need it. Peace out. Happy dating.
**In case it wasn't clear, the thoughts herein have been compiled over several years of swimming in the dating pool. If this had all occurred in one night, with one guy, I'd have felt responsible to disclose his name as a public service to other women who might wander into his path.
7 comments:
Wow. Perhaps someday I should tell you about some of the first (and only) dates I've had. Not to mention the random "Will you marry me?"'s from random guys, a few of which were, yes, drunk.
In any case, I'm sorry you had such a crappy time with that guy.
i LOVE this. not that it happened to you, but just....this! definitely puts 'dido' in perspective.
Perhaps you could publish a "self help" pamphlet to hand out in singles wards eh? What do you think? I loved the tip on the awkward time sitting in the car waiting to be walked to the door. So true.
Oh, Tara. I miss your wit. You're a great person, and I'm happy to count you as a friend.
Amen sister :) I have some horror dating stories that although traumatizing at the time, are hilarious to tell now! Hey, at least I got something from it!
I am also not okay with driving... or any of that other stuff. But really? Have a car.
K- that's pretty funny. I'm glad that you added the bit at the end that this all didn't happen in one date because I was really worried about the kind of guys you were dating! LOL :)
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